Religion

Religion

I was born into Catholic parents in a predominantly Catholic country in all Asia, the Philippines then I was baptized months after at home under the St. John of Sahagun Parish at Tigbauan, Iloilo. Years later I took my first communion at Our Lady of Monserrat Parish at Gran Plains Subdivision and then finally received the Holy Sacrament of Confirmation at the Parish of Our Lady of Candles Jaro Metropolitan Cathedral. Educated at a private school owned by the Dominican Order, the Angelicum School of Iloilo, I was more or less raised and happily surrounded by a Catholic community.

Then when it comes to my college education, I was enrolled at Central Philippine University, a Baptist institution, finished a Commerce degree then continued a Nursing degree at its sister school at Bacolod, West Negros University. In college, I was made to be aware of Protestantism, meaning not under the Vatican supremacy, I felt Jesus more intimately during the Christ Emphasis Week every semester at this university, with praises of songs made our mandatory program at Rose Memorial Auditorium more bearable, complete with testimonies and encouraging speakers from their network.

I am not really a regular Sunday mass goer, religious I’m not, believer yes. During high school, I enjoyed the Marian week, singing Latin praises for the Virgin Mary and participating at the candle-lit procession at the end of the week. But my own personal experience with God perhaps determined me to be satisfied being Catholic. Joining a Christian sect is quite expensive and formal anyway, “daming bawal” literally practicing what preach in the Old Testament, some focusing on the New Testament of the Bible. But even in Roman Catholicism, one topic until now perceived as wrong, even “evil” is homosexuality. But because the society here are more tolerable towards homosexuals, we enjoyed not being “thrown by stones” but of course still being discriminated, with the more numbers of homosexuals in a corner of every corner here on Earth, we kind of feel safe as homosexuals, luckily have homes that love them to seek refuge upon, most don’t have but blessed with people they call friends and eventually their circle they will consider family.

In masses, though I would not miss yawning, even though I had enough sleep beforehand, when the celebrator has that capacity to engage his audience, I’ll be hook with the sermon, or when he preaches something that’s interesting for me personally. After all, it’s like selling, the better you “market” the topic the longer the attention span of the attendees, or else they would just wait for the cue of “all rise!” after the sermon. In during offertory or collection, a “piso”, even loose change of centavos would be okay, nothing at all would just be fine even.

There are even personal alternative modern virtues Catholics now a day practiced, though I am not convinced if they truly believe it. It’s okay to miss masses, as long as you pray. It’s okay to receive communion even you haven’t confess your sins, before I thought if you had a candy, you can’t eat the “ochas”. Now, I beg to disagree, it’s better to attend a mass, even just once a week, preferably a Sunday though believed to be important among all days. You’ll never know what lessons you’ll learn, like me I learned about “Theophany” or the many manifestation of God, the priest cited three, writing this I remember, we remember God if we experience a storm. I on the other hand, when my father died, he even became like a saint, praying for him to send my messages to God. I always asked for forgiveness and then give my selfish personal intentions, like passing the board exam, waiting for a miracle. Being someone famous, without actually working on it, my vanities trapped me into an insecure, forlorn human being. But he mentioned, the institutionalized God is true, the church is here because it is between the first and second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. The human form God, now he is the Holy Spirit, someday he’ll arrive just like the prophecy in the Bible. Maybe he had come already, we didn’t just know, because even the Vatican most probably would find it difficult if finally Christ has arrived. Joining masses after all keep me there because of the songs and singing, I like the chorus, even dream that someday I’ll join the choir, my fantasy to sing this Latin song I like so much during the Marian festival, “Dulce prenda dorada..”

Before I was fascinated with religious iconology, symbols and other supreme-being ideology through signs, maybe medieval, they are beautiful artifacts. Then with the popularity of Dan Brown’s conspiracy the Da Vinci Code book was astonishing the symbolism grew more enchanting and I on the other hand was interested in our pagan beliefs with Bathala and encantadas, now even depicted at a TV fantaserye “Dyosa” but this is not about my topic.

My last confession was during my first communion, that’s it. I think it would take to really gather enough strength to go through with inconveniences of the crowded church, checking for the schedule and then waiting for your time in the confessional. I haven’t been to a church that making a confession would just be a breeze. It’s not that organized after all. It’s like I’m waiting for it to be automated like our voting system. Luckily our voting system started automated, for a third world country to modernized their voting process at the year of 2008 not bad, even started at the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao, not bad at all with many Muslim Filipino brothers satisfied. But I’m not saying “automatic” like no priest in a confessional, I meant the system to be convenient for a person to just go to church and confess! I even tried lighting two candles a Blue and Pink at Jaro Cathedral for blessing and guidance. Now when I look at it, it’s more of a “Bahala ka na” attitude, all putting the burden to the Lord.

I would like to attend mass regularly now, hoping every preaching bite! Then finally confess, though I don’t know anymore the process, for sure I’ll start with, “Father I have sinned.”